A man claims to have been left red-faced after he tried to deliver a racy surprise for his girlfriend – but his plan backfired when he was caught by her housemates and his mum.
Sharing his story anonymously, the man said that deciding to drive naked to pick up his girlfriend wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, but he didn’t expect it to go quite so badly.
He got undressed in his house, got in his car – which was in the garage – then drove over to see her, all without being spotted.
But his day went downhill when he saw his girlfriend, standing in the rain, with her two housemates.
Panicked, the man says he drove home to quickly get changed but when he arrived at his house, his mum was blocking his driveway and when he pulled up she ran straight up to him and looked through the car window – despite his protests.
Sharing his story on Reddit, the man said: “I was thinking it would be kind of kinky to show up naked behind the wheel and saying something silly like ‘excuse me, ma’am… did you call an Uber X’?
“I imagined her laughing at the absurdity but also being somewhat turned on by the nudity.
“I wasn’t too worried about other people catching me because my plan was not to interact with anyone else and to stay in the car until I was back inside my garage.
“I realized I f***ed up the moment I pulled into the parking bay and noticed my girlfriend standing in the rain with an umbrella and her two roommates huddled underneath.
“All of them were frantically waving at me like, ‘Oh my God, please hurry, it’s pouring’.
“I had two choices – proceed as planned and accept my fate, or preserve my dignity and leave my gf and her roommates in the rain.
“I drove out of there feeling conflicted as f**k.”
The man said that he then called his girlfriend and tried to make up excuses for his behaviour, but in the end he thought it was best to come clean and tell her the truth – but asked her to lie to her housemates.
However, she told him there was no need, as the conversation had been on speakerphone and they had heard the whole thing – so, red-faced, he carried on home.
On his way back, the man got another call – this time it was his own mother, saying she had some food to deliver to him and that she’d be waiting for him at home.
After a brief panic, he came up with a plan and told his mother to stay in the car out of the rain, adding that he’d drive straight into the garage then would come to the front door to let her in.
He continued: “I emphasized that she should remain in her car, out of the rain, and under no circumstances should she approach me until she saw me in the house looking decent.
“My mom approached me as soon as she heard me honk. Her vehicle was blocking my driveway but instead of getting out of the way so I could access my garage and avoid being seen in the nude, she got out of her car without warning and marched to my car with a plate of lasagne wrapped in tinfoil.
“I was tempted to drive away again, but I didn’t have the balls to abandon both women in my life on the same night in the same way. I rolled down my window and said, ‘mother, stop’.
“She did not stop. Not until she realized I was wearing nothing but my seat belt. I asked her to please move her vehicle and not ask questions. She caught me naked. Of course she asked questions. Lots of questions.
“I made it sound like it was nothing more than a dumb prank between friends but my mom was convinced I was under the influence of her nemesis, Satan.
“I knew what that meant. She was using Satan as a metaphor to describe my gf, which she’s done before. Usually, I’d bite and we would argue but I didn’t have time to dive into that debate because once I was done getting dressed, I had to leave again.
“On my way out, my mom proceeded to pray out loud. I froze at the door and had to wait until she was done updating God about yet another classic example of how her son was being tempted by the flesh into committing acts of indecency.
“As usual it was over the top theatrics and passive-aggressive slut shaming towards my gf. Somehow all of this was her fault, not mine, I was just a victim of a Jezebel. It took everything in my power not to lose my s**t during that prayer. “